It’s rare that I come across a slow budget film that has no
redeeming qualities to it. Maybe the
acting wasn’t as strong as it could have been or maybe the CGI was laughable
but I could usually point to something that was good in the film whether it be
the musical score or entertainment value or even the sex or high body
count. There is nothing redeeming about
the film Avalanche Sharks (2015).
Besides having the most ridiculous plot I’ve seen in a
horror film in quite some time this film wallows in the absent mindedness of
film makers without an original thought in their head. The film follows a bunch of random ski-heads
at a ski resort during spring break.
Someone has accidentally released ghost spirits of the local legend of
sharks that can swim through snow like it was water. No one is safe and as people start to
disappear the Mayer and local business owners refuse to close the mountain down
in fear of scaring off the tourists and ruining the whole season.
Sound familiar? It’s
almost a plot point by plot point detail of Jaws
and its other rip-offs except this film is filled with idiotic characters,
racial stereotypes and whining and incompetent people in charge yet not
really. The film is also filled with too
much bad CGI and even the makeup effects are sub-par. Not one character is worth mentioning and the
acting is beyond bad. You hope that they
will all die but some of them take too long for that even to happen.
This is a bad film even for bad films.
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