Zombies are the middle children of the otherworldly family. Vampires are the oldest brother who gets to have a room in the attic, all tripped out with a disco ball and shag carpet. Werewolves are the youngest, the babies, always getting pinched and told they're cute. With all that attention stolen away from the middle child zombie, no wonder she shuffles off grumbling, "Marsha, Marsha, Marsha."

- Kevin James Breaux

Thursday, March 3, 2016

Film Review: 500 MPH STORM (2013)

The weather has never been as dangerous as it is in 500 MPH Storm (2013).  Well, maybe in any typical Syfy Channel movie the weather is a dangerous element especially when man has something to do with as he does in this film.  Nathan Sims (Casper Van Dien) is enjoying the day with his family when he is informed that his friend and colleague Simon Caprisi (Michael Beach) has turned on his experimental weather machine which goes out of control creating massive hurricanes that rip across America.  Now time is running out as Sims must get his family to safety and find a way to stop his machine before it creates a “hypercane” that could destroy North America. 

Unfortunately, despite the very Eco-friendly message of the film it’s riddled with bad acting and horrible CGI visual FX which take you out of the film.  Dien is not a stranger to these types of films since most of his career in the past decade has been of this variety.  He does the best that he can but there isn’t much that he’s given.

Written by Kuang Lee and Hank Woon Jr., the film also suffers from the fact that as ludicrous as the idea is no one seems to be having any fun in the film least of all Dien.  Supporting characters are more annoying than normal to the point that you wish some of them would just die and the film slugs along through its 86 minute run time.  A film to avoid if possible.

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