DOOM: ANNIHILATION (2019)

A group of UAC Marines are tasted with answering a distress call from a secret base on Phobos, one of Mars’ moons.  Thus, begins the latest film adaption DOOM: ANNIHILATION (2019) of the popular video game.  Although this film takes inspiration from the video games it has nothing to do with the previous live action film of 2005 and instead goes on a different path. Joan Dark (Amy Manson) is one of these Marines who must learn the nature of the secret military base once they arrive and realize that they cannot communicate with any of the staff or personnel.  They don’t have much time as they soon learn that they base is set to self-destruct if they can’t get everything back online in time.

To make matters worse is the fact there is something else on the base with them that wants to kill everything it comes into contact with.  Like Most films of this type, it borrows heavily from Aliens (1986) while also making sure audiences who enjoy the game also get what they are expecting.  Manson does a great job bringing her A-Action Game for this film as I was constantly reminded of actress Millia Jovovich in the Resident Evil films especially when the creatures reveal themselves.

There are many hokey elements to the film, but they actually add to the overall entertainment of the proceedings especially if you’re a fan of the video game and know what you’re getting into from the start.  Writer/director Tony Giglio is obviously a fan of the game and wants audiences to become one soon after watching his film. 

The visual FX are really good, and the production design is excellent making for a highly enjoyable film despite the clichés that come with this genre of film and its low expectations.  Video game adaptations are not usually films that audiences really lavish much attention to but this version of the game is far superior to the previous and opens the door for future sequels.  Doom: Annihilation may not be the best film adapted from a video game but its certainly one of the better ones.

MOTHMAN (2010)

MOTHMAN (2010) the familiar horror film story about a group of friends who when they were young did a horrible thing that led to the death one of the group.  Years later the group finds themselves all together again and something is killing them one-by-one.  This derivative horror film is led by the talented Jewel Staite (of TVs Firefly) who plays Katherine Grant, a reporter forced to return to her hometown for a story about the Mothman Festival.  Her return home triggers the arrival of the real Mothman that starts to kill Katherine’s friends in order to avenge the wrongful death that they covered up years before.

Unless you’re truly a fan of the Mothman legend and mythology then there will be little for you in this film despite the presence of Staite who does her very best with the material despite the bad CGI FX in regards to the Mothman himself.  Screenwriters Sung-Jin Lee and Patrick Walsh try to add flavor to the story by adding hints of the actual Mothman legend to the story but since it is all background info and nothing that really is pertinent to the actual story it all adds very little.

Once the Mothman makes itself known the action does kick into high gear with some sequences that feel out of place but they at least give the film a boost of much needed energy.  This Mothman film is not one that will either educate you about the nature of the myth or legend nor will this film entertain you enough to care.  There are other Mothman films that you can search out for if you need something to occupy your time.

Film Review: ICE SPIDERS (2007)

Director Tibor Takacs’ Ice Spiders (2007) is about as ludicrous and entertaining as most of his films having been directed the cult favorites The Gate (1987) and its sequel Gate 2 (1990) and I, Madman (1989), among many others.  The biggest fault with his films in this modern day and age is the over reliance on CGI good, bad, and otherwise.  You get a lot of the otherwise in this film.

The film concerns former ski bum Dash Dashiell (Patrick Muldoon) whose fed up with teaching rich people at the ski resort the “fine art” of skiing when they would rather just be having a good time.  When Dr. April Sommers (Vanessa Williams) military science experiment of deadly mutated spiders decides to jump ship from the secret government laboratory on the mountain everyone’s lives are nothing more than spider-food.  Unbeknownst to Sommers her spiders were injected with a growth hormone to speed up their growth and aggression and now they are bigger, stronger, and more deadly than she could have possibly imagined.  And did I also mention that the cold has no effect on them whatsoever?

Now Sommers must team up with Dashiell to protect the survivors on the mountain and find a way to outsmart and kill the giant spiders before they all become spider-food.  The whole film is pretty ludicrous but Muldoon and Williams are game and keep the film entertaining even through all the bad CGI spiders.  Even legendary producer Stephen J. Cannell (The Rockford Files, 21 Jump Street, The A-Team, and Stingray, to name a few) shows up in a major supporting role as the owner of the ski resort. 

Overall the film is pretty bad and a far cry from Takacs’ previous ‘80s films but he still knows how to entertain regardless.

Film Review: SLENDER MAN (2018)

I wish there was a way in which I can say that there is some way to craft a “good” film based on the urban legend of Slender Man but the film SLENDER MAN (2018) probably isn’t quite it.  Joey King stars a Wren who with her girlfriends set out to call the Slender Man but when one of her girlfriends goes missing, Wren realizes that maybe the urban legend is real.

The plot borrows from everything from Candyman to Urban Legends but has none of the spark of any of those.  It is no secret that the film under went forced re shoots due to some people claiming the film insensitive to the original case that inspired the film and that the film just didn’t test well in front of test audiences, but the final product is “dead on arrival.”  There is simply too much CGI (especially in the third act) and the logic for the film goes out the window somewhere at the half way point.

I actually like the more stylistic cinematography and editing (by Luca Del Puppo and Jake York, respectfully) and which is was more consistent throughout because the more artistic choices made the film more interesting.  The problem is that the final film relies on too many standard jump scares and follows too many horror tropes that are cliché.    I did love the score by Brandon Campbell and Ramin Djawadi which is the true highlight of the film.

Film Review: ZOOMBIES (2015)

No one is ever going to mistake a film from The Asylum to be high art much less all that good, but they have a knack for crafting some ridiculously entertaining films sometimes of which ZOOMBIES (2016) almost hits all the right marks.

A strange monkey virus threatens to spread throughout a new safari park on the cusp of opening up to the public just when the new interns are getting assigned to their jobs.  Although there are no regular attendees yet, there are plenty of park workers that become cannon fodder for the savage zoo animals soon infected with a zombie-like virus.  It is up to the employees to stop the spread of the virus before it reaches the outside world and threatens all life on Earth.

Dr. Ellen Rogers (Kim Nielson) must find a way to navigate her employees to safety in the park while zombie gorillas, giraffes, lions, and all other manner of critters make food of everyone they come into contact with.

The film is filled with colorful characters and enough gore to satisfy even the most diehard horror fan and even though it lacks the polish of a Hollywood studio film (the CGI is pretty bad) there is plenty of entertainment and zombie carnage to keep you occupied from beginning to end (especially if you like these types of films).  Fans of The Asylum films know what to expect and the film delivers in spades.  If you’re not fans of The Asylum or don’t have an open mind then this film is definitely not for you as you need to be “in” on the joke in order to enjoy these types of films.

Film Review: KILLER MERMAID (2014)

Monsters come in all shapes and sizes but it’s a rare treat when it comes in the form of a mermaid or better known as a Nymph (2014) also known by its US title of Killer Mermaid (original title Mamula).  Kelly and Lucy (Kristina Klebe and Natalie Burn, respectfully) are two Americans on a Mediterranean vacation catching up with old friends when a trip to an abandoned military base turns deadly when they discover that someone is feeding a creature trapped in a well deep in the bowels of the structure. 

The closer they come to discovering the dark secrets that have been left hidden the more danger they find themselves in as Kelly and Lucy and her friends are picked off one by one not just by a deranged killer but also a creature that can lure men to their deaths while playing on their wildest fantasies.

Despite having a very predictable story structure there is great millage that comes from the exotic local and the actual location itself is rich with atmosphere and production value.  What could have easily been a derivative killer monster movie is something a bit more especially when adding in local legends and background in Nazi Germany (they always make for good villains).

Mina Sablic is the Creature otherwise known as a mermaid and she is represented in a very traditional way especially as a siren to call men to their dooms and to change into a deadly creature that devours them as well.  The only problem is that the CGI for the film is sub-par and laughable in many parts.  The first two-thirds do a good job of building up the film which is then rendered laughable by the CGI effects.  This aspect of the film will ruin it for most as most horror fans have grown tired of the bad CGI in films and therefore this film will be easily forgotten as well.

Film Review: AVALANCHE SHARKS (2015)

It’s rare that I come across a slow budget film that has no redeeming qualities to it.  Maybe the acting wasn’t as strong as it could have been or maybe the CGI was laughable but I could usually point to something that was good in the film whether it be the musical score or entertainment value or even the sex or high body count.  There is nothing redeeming about the film Avalanche Sharks (2015). 

Besides having the most ridiculous plot I’ve seen in a horror film in quite some time this film wallows in the absent mindedness of film makers without an original thought in their head.  The film follows a bunch of random ski-heads at a ski resort during spring break.  Someone has accidentally released ghost spirits of the local legend of sharks that can swim through snow like it was water.  No one is safe and as people start to disappear the Mayer and local business owners refuse to close the mountain down in fear of scaring off the tourists and ruining the whole season.

Sound familiar?  It’s almost a plot point by plot point detail of Jaws and its other rip-offs except this film is filled with idiotic characters, racial stereotypes and whining and incompetent people in charge yet not really.  The film is also filled with too much bad CGI and even the makeup effects are sub-par.  Not one character is worth mentioning and the acting is beyond bad.  You hope that they will all die but some of them take too long for that even to happen.

This is a bad film even for bad films.

Film Review: LITTLE DEAD ROTTING HOOD (2016)

The story of Little Red Riding Hood is as old as it has been re-interpreted by different story tellers and film makers and even been used several times as the basis for a werewolf film which is where Little Dead Rotting Hood (2016) comes in.  It follows Samantha (Bianca A. Santos) who has been recently sacrificed by her Grandmother (Marina Sirtis of Star Trek: The Next Generation) in order to prepare for the coming epic battle of werewolves verses humans. 

Trapped in the middle of all this is Danny (Romeo Miller) who is searching for his girlfriend Samantha when he discovers what she’s become.  With the help of the local Sheriff Adam (Eric Balfour) the two must find a way to stop the werewolves from rising and killing all the humans in their town but it won’t be without the help of the supernatural Samantha whose sacrifice has made her into something that even werewolves fear.

The film is saddled with an unimaginative script and bad CGI, which wouldn’t be all that bad except its really bad CGI.  The only thing that’s remotely interesting is the story about Balfour’s Sheriff whose search for the truth is actually an interesting one and he does a great job as an actor in the role.  It’s hard to believe that he’s so good yet everyone else around him is so mediocre (if not all out bad).  It’s good to see Balfour giving 110% even when the film doesn’t deserve it.

A film really only (barely) for the curious and the werewolf fans.