Film Review: DEEP BLUE SEA 2 (2018)

It seems that you can teach a bull shark new tricks in the horror film DEEP BLUE SEA 2 (2018).  Billionaire Carl Durant (Michael Beach) has assembled a group of talented scientists lead by lead bull shark specialist Misty Calhoun (Danielle Savre) to reveal his latest accomplishment which is that he has been experimenting with bull sharks making them smarter, more aggressive, and extremely dangerous to the point that these cause Durant’s research facility to be flooded allowing the sharks access for the killing spree.  Now Misty and the rest of the scientist must find a way to the surface while trying to escape bull sharks that see all of them as easy prey and easy game.

Like the original 1999 film, an underwater facility that’s gets flooded is the ticking time bomb for the cast to find a way to safety.  But unlike the original film, this film is filled with sub-par acting (probably due to the bad script) with even worse CGI effects.  Very little originality is had in this film which borrows heavily from the original film.

The film is written by Erik Patterson, Jessica Scot, and Hans Rodionoff (who also provides the story) and directed by Darin Scott, whose previous films include Dark House (2009) and the less interesting American Horror House (2012) and A Housekeeper’s Revenge (2016).  This film lacks any real suspense and there are only a few genuine moments or gore that are interesting.  Otherwise, this is a pretty forgettable sequel.

Film Review: SHARK LAKE (2015)

When an exotic animal smuggler runs afoul of the police his cargo is thrust into the nearby lake.  This cargo happens to be a bull shark and it’s found a new source of meat which is human.  This is the set up for the film Shark Lake (2015) starring Dolph Lundgren as Clint Gray, the so-called animal smuggler who gets five years in prison after he is caught by the police.  When he gets out of prison his little daughter Carly (Lily Brooks O’Briant) has been adopted by the police woman who captured him – Meredith Hernandez (Sara Malakul Lane), who will stop at nothing to protect Carly from her criminal father. 

Clint’s not out of prison for even a day before he realizes that his shark has been killing the locals and that the original owner of the shark (who also happens to be a mob boss) has waited five years for Clint to return his property.  Now Clint must find a way to capture the shark before it kills any more people and before Meredith puts him in jail for thinking he’s the same criminal he was before he went to jail.

Besides being saddled with a mediocre script with nothing remotely interesting or original, Lundgren seems to be going through the motions in the film.  He’s given nothing to actually show off his talents and it seems as though he’s bored throughout the entire film as if he’s just doing it for a paycheck which probably exactly how he got involved in the film to begin with.  Most of his scenes seem shoehorned into a screenplay that focuses primarily on Meredith and her obsession with protecting Carly from her father.

Unfortunately, Lane makes for a very unconvincing police officer who ignores police procedure and breaks more rules than she enforces.  Lane also doesn’t have the experience to be a convincing lead for the film as well.  The character is bland and uninteresting.  The CGI is also sub-par (which seems to be the norm for these types of films) and most of the kills are off-screen and surprisingly bloodless.  For a killer shark film this is a pretty bland affair better left floating in the water.

Film Review: AVALANCHE SHARKS (2015)

It’s rare that I come across a slow budget film that has no redeeming qualities to it.  Maybe the acting wasn’t as strong as it could have been or maybe the CGI was laughable but I could usually point to something that was good in the film whether it be the musical score or entertainment value or even the sex or high body count.  There is nothing redeeming about the film Avalanche Sharks (2015). 

Besides having the most ridiculous plot I’ve seen in a horror film in quite some time this film wallows in the absent mindedness of film makers without an original thought in their head.  The film follows a bunch of random ski-heads at a ski resort during spring break.  Someone has accidentally released ghost spirits of the local legend of sharks that can swim through snow like it was water.  No one is safe and as people start to disappear the Mayer and local business owners refuse to close the mountain down in fear of scaring off the tourists and ruining the whole season.

Sound familiar?  It’s almost a plot point by plot point detail of Jaws and its other rip-offs except this film is filled with idiotic characters, racial stereotypes and whining and incompetent people in charge yet not really.  The film is also filled with too much bad CGI and even the makeup effects are sub-par.  Not one character is worth mentioning and the acting is beyond bad.  You hope that they will all die but some of them take too long for that even to happen.

This is a bad film even for bad films.

Film Review: SHARK WEEK (2012)

Sharks seem to be the go-to monster for a lot of horror films of the last few years and I guess they’ve run out of titles for their films as evidenced by the generic title for the film Shark Week (2012).  The film surprisingly has a couple of decent actors in Yancy Butler and Patrick Bergin who are slumming in this piece of shit of a horror film. 

Tiburon and his wife (Bergin and Butler, respectfully) have decided to gather a bunch of people together on their private island in order to force them into a gauntlet infested with sharks of all types.  It seems that they are wanting to punish the people responsible for the death of their son and since Tiburon likes sharks why not just have them get eaten one by one in the most entertaining way as possible.

The CGI is inadequate and the acting isn’t much better but I suggest this is more due to the sub par script by Liz Adams and H. Perry Horton.  The actors, at certain points, are not bad but they are saddled with such a cliché story with bad dialogue that they are simply trying to do the best they can do with what they’ve been given.  Bergin is at his worst in this film as he seems asleep at the wheel in this film (he gave a better performance in the abysmal Lawmower Man 2) but Butler (as always) seems to be the only one having any fun in this mess of a film.

Directed by Christopher Ray very little imagination is set forth and even most of the death scenes are off screen or filmed too dark and even if they weren’t marred by bad CGI this film would be a complete waste of time even for audiences that enjoy bad CGI shark movies.