Top 10 Favorite Monster Films

Now monster films is way too big of a category to just pick my favorite “Top 10” so with this list I decided to do only true non-traditional monsters therefore there are no vampires, werewolves, zombies, mummy’s, aliens (or creatures from other planets – i.e. Aliens, Predator), trans-dimensional creatures (i.e. Lovecraftian that are seen coming from another world – Re-Animator, From Beyond) or giant monsters caused by nuclear/toxic/etc. creation (i.e Them, Gojira, Toxic Avenger).  I also didn’t include any of your regular “natural” animals (i.e. Lake Placid, Alligator, Jaws) or man created monsters (i.e. Man’s Best Friend, Jurassic Park, The Fly) on this list as either.  This still leaves a ton of monster films to cover!  This being said, if the monster’s origin is unknown then it can be included on this list.  Monster films are some of my favorite so I hope you enjoy this list and make sure to leave your comments and post your own list.  This list is in no particular order and make sure to check out some of my other lists as well:

      1.       Deep Rising (1998)

      2.       Underwater (2020)

      3.       Nightbreed (1992)

      4.       It (2017)

      5.       Jeepers Creepers 2 (2003)

      6.       Tremors (1990)

      7.       Gremlins (1984)

      8.       Deep Star Six (1989)

      9.       The Stuff (1985)

     10.   Brain Damage (1988)

Film Review: AVALANCHE SHARKS (2015)

It’s rare that I come across a slow budget film that has no redeeming qualities to it.  Maybe the acting wasn’t as strong as it could have been or maybe the CGI was laughable but I could usually point to something that was good in the film whether it be the musical score or entertainment value or even the sex or high body count.  There is nothing redeeming about the film Avalanche Sharks (2015). 

Besides having the most ridiculous plot I’ve seen in a horror film in quite some time this film wallows in the absent mindedness of film makers without an original thought in their head.  The film follows a bunch of random ski-heads at a ski resort during spring break.  Someone has accidentally released ghost spirits of the local legend of sharks that can swim through snow like it was water.  No one is safe and as people start to disappear the Mayer and local business owners refuse to close the mountain down in fear of scaring off the tourists and ruining the whole season.

Sound familiar?  It’s almost a plot point by plot point detail of Jaws and its other rip-offs except this film is filled with idiotic characters, racial stereotypes and whining and incompetent people in charge yet not really.  The film is also filled with too much bad CGI and even the makeup effects are sub-par.  Not one character is worth mentioning and the acting is beyond bad.  You hope that they will all die but some of them take too long for that even to happen.

This is a bad film even for bad films.

Film Review: APARTMENT 1303 (2012)

I was surprised to learn that the film Apartment 1303 (2012) was a film originally presented in 3D but I guess that it was in select theaters and markets in that format.  Unfortunately, the film isn’t worth seeing in 3D or in 2D. 

Janet Slate (Julianne Michelle) has secretly moved into an apartment without her overbearing and violent mother Maddie (Rebecca De Mornay) and her older sister Lara (Mischa Barton).  She not only wants to get away from her mother but she also wants to start living her own life away from the pressure of her singer mother.  As soon as Janet gets into her apartment something is not right as a little girl keeps warning her to leave and her landlord likes to make himself home in her place plus something keeps trying to spook Janet in her own home.  When Janet suddenly dies two days later from an apparent suicide by jumping off the balcony of her place, Lara decides to take residence in the apartment to discover the truth of what happened to her sister.  No one seems to believe Lara when she says that the apartment is haunted by a previous tenant who refuses to share the apartment but she must find a way to survive when the ghosts in the apartment is very violent and vengeful.

This might actually be an interesting film if not for the poor acting due to the poor script.  There is no logic to the actions of the vengeful ghosts especially when Janet’s ghosts decides to be vengeful towards her sister (never makes any sense).  Also, the way in which both Janet and Lara react to the ghosts in any given scene is inconsistent.  Sometimes they appear to be afraid of the ghosts while other times they just decide to ignore them.  This gets old really fast and is probably more of an editing problem since these are usually close up reaction shots on the character.  Another thing is that De Mornay is the best actor in the film and she has little to nothing to do in the film and never has a chance to interact with the ghosts (which is a shame).

The special FX actually do look as though they were made for a 3D film but look poor in 2D (kind of like the poor visual FX in JAWS 3-D when viewed in 2D).  Not a very good film in any way and is highly forgettable.

"Rants & Ravings About Horror - Week 10: “Watching Bad Horror Films”

Week 10: “Watching Bad Horror Films”

If you’re like me then you’re a horror fan who has seen your fair share of bad horror films.  Now, I’m not talking about bad horror films that entertain you and you watch because they’re “so bad they’re good” (i.e. Plan 9 From Outer Space).  And I’m not talking about films you thought were going to be good because the trailer was good but turned out bad (i.e. The Pyramid).  No, I’m talking about watching the trailer for a film or reading about a film and knowing beforehand that it was always going to be bad no matter what.  I’m talking about a film like C.H.U.D. 2: Bud the Chud (1989) or The Lawnmower Man 2: Job’s War (1996) or House of the Dead 2 (2005) or The Return of the Texas Chainsaw Massacre (1994) (yes, I use the original theatrical release title because that’s how I originally saw the film).  These are films with trailers so bad and a synopsis so bad that they shouldn’t have even been made much less watched.  But they are were and some even have a small cult following.

Having reviewed many horror films over the years I’ve watched more bad films than good ones at this point and many of them I’ve never seen a trailer so I’ve had to rely on poster images and synopsis to go by.  Films with titles like Airplane Vs. Volcano (2014) and Blood Valley: Seed’s Revenge (2014) and The Bell Witch Haunting (2013) and Paranormal Asylum (2013) and Don’t Go in the Woods (2010) and 13/13/13 (2013) you know going in that they’re going to be pretty bad and if not bad then completely ludicrous.  I mean, you can’t really (honestly) have high hopes for a film called Sharknado (2013), but we watch these films anyways regardless of how bad we know they’re going to be.

I enjoy bad horror films.  I actually enjoyed some parts of Airplane Vs. Volcano and I chuckle at Sharknado.  I’ve probably even seen Plan 9 From Outer Space more times than I should have but it’s a great movie to just have playing in the background when you just want to chill out, drink a beer, and relax.  I don’t think I can relax at home drinking a beer and watching Martyrs (2008).  It just isn’t happening.  Have you ever tried a night with your significant other and asking him/her to sit down and watch Hostel (2005)?  I’m sure it never goes over well, but if you said let’s watch Sharknado 2: The Second One (2014), they probably replied with they’ll get the popcorn and candy. 

When you want to watch to good comedy horror you pull out Shaun of the Dead (2004) not Day of the Dead 2: Contagium (2005) (which is funny for all the wrong reasons) but if you want stupid comedy you always pull out Army of Darkness (1992), which has many drinking games associated with it.  Why do some people love the horrendous Jason X (2001), when there is a Jason Takes Manhattan (1989) and a Jason Goes to Hell (1993) right before it?  Does anyone even remember Freddy’s Dead: The Final Nightmare (1991) over A Nightmare on Elm Street 2: Freddy’s Revenge (1985)?  Both are considered the worst of the series but we’ve all probably seen them more times than we’d like to admit.  How about any one of the Hellraiser sequels after Part 3 or the Jaws sequels after the first one?  We’ve all seen them and we all consider them bad despite having seen them more than several times. 

Sometimes bad films have good moments which is why we watch them and continue to go back to them from time to time to not only remind us how bad they were but how awesome that one moment in each of them can out shine all the other bad parts contained within.  I don’t know about you but I liked Super Freddy in Freddy’s Dead and Jason knocking a man’s head off with one punch in Jason Takes Manhattan was worth a film that’s all on a boat in a water way that’s somehow connected to New York City.  Sharknado 2 is well worth watching Tara Reid get her hand bitten off and replaced by a buzz saw as is watching Ian Ziering getting swallowed by a shark and surviving.  Jason beating some female campers trapped in a sleeping bag against a tree and not dying (you have to see it to believe it) is one of the funniest moments in the film as is watching director David Cronenberg die in the opening of Jason X.  Watching Gerrit Graham in C.H.U.D. 2 is like watching him reprise his Beef character from Phantom of the Paradise (1974), only dead.  And in terms of the Jaws sequels – I just like watching people get eaten by a great white shark and not realize that they should’ve closed the beach before it was too late plus Michael Cain does ham it up pretty good in Jaws: The Revenge (1987)

There is no denying that all these films are bad films.  They’re even worse horror films as they don’t even try to horrify, terrorize, or even bother with a coherent story (most of the time) and are mainly played for laughs anyways.  Most of the time they know they’re bad and are in on the joke (i.e. Jason X and Sharknado).

The real travesty is those horror films trying to be good but fall flat on their ass.  For one reason or another they just don’t click with an audience and, unfortunately, are easily forgotten.  Child’s Play 3 (1991) and Friday the 13^th Part V: A New Beginning (1985) and Hellraiser: Bloodline (1996) and The Thing (2011) and Pulse (2006) and One Missed Call (2008) and They (2002) and Carnival of Souls (1998) and The Cabinet of Dr. Caligari (1962) and An American Werewolf in Paris (1997) and Prom Night (2008) and way to many more to mention but you get the picture.

Now personally I enjoyed some of these films that I just mentioned but for the most part the majority of horror fans (and audiences in general) has either ignored these films or forgot they even existed.  There is nothing bad about watching bad horror movies or even liking them.  I for one need the bad films for all my drinking parties because watching a good horror film is just not the same and if I want to enjoy a horror film with my girl it most certainly won’t be The Descent (2005) because she hates horror films but will more likely be Army of Darkness (because she loves Bruce Campbell but then again who doesn’t) or the latest Sharknado (which is how I originally watched the first two).

Don’t be afraid of bad horror films.  Embrace them just like the Syfy Channel does!