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Quote:

Zombies are the middle children of the otherworldly family. Vampires are the oldest brother who gets to have a room in the attic, all tripped out with a disco ball and shag carpet. Werewolves are the youngest, the babies, always getting pinched and told they're cute. With all that attention stolen away from the middle child zombie, no wonder she shuffles off grumbling, "Marsha, Marsha, Marsha."

- Kevin James Breaux

Sunday, May 11, 2014

Film Review: THE AMITYVILLE HAUNTING (2011)



The myth about the Amityville house and what happened there is the stuff that would give anyone nightmares.  Too bad there will be no nightmares had after watching The Amityville Haunting (2011).  You can never keep a good idea to make a profit down as this film is nothing more than an easy way for an indie production company to make money off a popular marketable idea. 

Taking its cue from the popularity of the found footage film, Tyler Benson (Devin Clark) is the next young Steven Spielberg whose family (mother, father, younger & older sister) has moved into the house that is made of nightmares.  Over the course of a week after they move in Tyler films everything getting things on tape that he can’t comprehend and as people start to die from accidents in the house, Tyler and his family soon come to realize that they are not alone in the house.

Besides using all the wrong clichés of bad found footage films the worst thing about the film is that it is filled with unlikable characters and an annoying little kid as the main protagonist.  The film is beyond predictable with nothing you haven’t already seen a hundred times before in other found footage films.  This is not the nail in the coffin for the film as the film is filled with atrocious acting all around and even worst is the way in which the film is edited which has more unnecessary jump cuts than an MTV music video.

This film is beyond amateur and bad with no redeeming qualities whatsoever.  This is a travesty that most people will turn off within the first ten minutes (as I should have but I suffer through these films so you don’t have to).

Film Review: TWIXT (2011)



Between The Rainmaker (1997) and Youth Without Youth (2007) director Francis Ford Coppola has mostly stayed to producing films.  Since Youth Without Youth he has been directing a new film every two years including Tetro (2009) and Twixt (2011).  Each new film that he does is Coppola finding new ways to tell different types of stories that are not typical.  Twixt is Coppola’s way of trying to tell an old story in new way. 

Hall Baltimore (Val Kilmer) is an aging writer of supernatural novels who is on a book store.  He finds his way into a small town that’s a stop on his tour that also happens to be the location of a notorious murder.  Just as Baltimore is leaving town Sheriff Bobby LaGrange (Bruce Dern) comes up to him wanting to know if he would like to collaborate with him on a new novel that involves the town’s latest murder victim.  It seems that the body of an unknown girl has been found with a wooden stake in her chest.  Needing something new to write about Baltimore agrees to the collaboration but soon discovers that the only way to find the “real” story is to go into a deep dreamlike state where he meets odd characters of the town including a goth-like young girl by the name of V (Elle Fanning) and Edgar Allen Poe (Ben Chaplin) who will help him find his new novel that will put him back on the map.

Twixt is Coppola trying to channel his inner David Lynch by way of Twin Peaks but the film is not filled with any interesting characters nor does Kilmer’s Baltimore make for as interesting a main focus as Kyle MacLauchlan’s Special Agent Dale Cooper.  The overuse of CGI in the dream sequences leaves a lot to be desired.  This is a lesser film from the director whose glory days such as The Godfather (1972) and Apocalypse Now (1979) seem far in the distant past.

Film Review: ALL THE BOYS LOVE MANDY LANE (2006)



After sitting on a shelf for almost seven years director Jonathan Levine’s All the Boys Love Mandy Lane (2006) finally got a US limited theatrical release (and VOD release) late in 2013 before hitting DVD/BD.  The film became very popular during its film festival run and even during its International release where the film has been available for several years.  Now US audiences can finally see what all the fuss was about.
Mandy Lane (Amber Heard) is one of the most popular girls at school not only because she’s one of the most attractive women but because she is also one of the only ones that won’t put out for every horny male at the school.  Her only friend is Emmett (Michael Welch) but when the most popular male at school accidentally dies and it is his fault everything changes.  Mandy and Emmett’s friendship goes south and she decides that she needs to hang out with new people.

Almost a year after the accident, Mandy decides to go with her new friends on a vacation where there will be a lot of drinking, smoking, and having fun.  But this vacation will be anything but fun as each of Mandy’s friends start to die one by one and she must discover who or what it is before she becomes the next victim.
The film’s greatest feat is crafting teenagers who act like teenagers instead of caricatures despite being stereotypical characters.  Written by Jacob Forman, the script spends a lot of time developing each of the characters before any real grisly murders start to happen so this never feels like your typical hack n’ slash movie.  There are a lot of original ideas in this film especially in the third act when everything is turned on its head.

Coming so long after it was originally made some of the ideas may seem a little bit old school since some of them have been used in subsequent films but that does not diminish the fact that Levine’s film is still a very well-crafted debut feature from the man who would later helm The Wackness (2008), 50/50 (2011), and more recently Warm Bodies (2013).

Short Film Review: STRUCTURE KILL (2012)



If you’re a horror film fan then you are very familiar with the scene in the film where a lone woman is walking through a parking garage at night to her car and something awful happens.  This is the basis for the short film Structure Kill (2012) which describes a masked killer who is just having a really bad day. 

A young woman (Genevieve Farrell) walks through a parking garage to her car.  She is spooked by the eerie silence and can’t wait to get into the safety of her car only when she fills gets into her car she is suddenly spooked by the masked killer (Jake Nordwind) waiting to stab her.  All does not go as plan for the killer as he fell asleep in the back seat while waiting for the woman and now must explain his actions to her before he kills her.  What follows is a farce of killer clichés.

For the most part some of the jokes actually do work but the Samara references from The Ring (2002) seem a little out of place and neither Farrell nor Nordwind and pull off the comedy when the jokes fall flat.  This being said it is an interesting concept for a short film.  Directed by Stephen Vitale (who is also the cinematographer and editor) the film looks good as it is confined to a single location for the most part and it moves at a brisk pace leaving no fat on the bone so its short comings are slight at best.

You can watch the film on FearNet here - http://www.fearnet.com/shorts/structure-kill

Short Film Review: PLAY DEAD (2011)



Nothing can prepare so the zombie apocalypse, or so they say.  But if a zombie apocalypse did happen, how would you react but more importantly how will man’s best friend react?  This is the question that the Meza-Valdes brothers’ (Andres & Diego) short film Play Dead (2011)tries to answer as the zombie apocalypse is seen through the eyes of dogs who are no longer on man’s leash (although one dog in particular is on the leash of its zombie turned owner for most of the film). 

Humans are just meat puppets to the zombies as we see how four different dogs handle their masters being killed and how their lives are ultimately changed.  Since zombies don’t really care for dog meat they’re pretty much left alone and instead of running for the hills some of the dogs find love while others search for the Dog Bar, where all their dreams will come true.  Eventually, all the dogs’ converge as they discover that the zombies are the least of their worries as there are other monsters out there in this new world.

The Meza-Valdes brothers keep the tone of the film very light despite the graphic nature of the film and the action and stunts are truly impressive especially the explosions and fire FX.  You’d think this was a major Hollywood production instead of an indie film short.  The original score by Colin Frangicetto aids tremendously in complimenting the comedic tone (additional music is by Amigo The Devil and Rachel Goodrich).

All in all this is a better film than I expected due to the fact that despite the unusual nature of the film, the filmmakers keep the tone and mood from venturing in caricature territory delivering and entertaining yet horrifying little film.

You can view the film at FearNet here - http://www.fearnet.com/shorts/play-dead