Film Review: VEROTIKA (2019)

Rocker Glenn Danzig (of The Misfits and Danzing) takes his hand at directing with his anthology feature Verotika (2019) based on stories from his comic book.  I would like to say that there is something to be had in this mixed bag of sexually charged and gore filled film but that is not the case here.

 

Including the wraparound there are four stories that test the audiences’ endearment of bad acting, mediocre production values, and shoddy directing and writing that can’t be saved by much of anything (unless of course you happen to be under the influence of drugs and alcohol).

 

In “The Albino Spider of Dajette” Ashley Wisdom is Dajette, a woman with eye balls as nipples and has a co-depended relationship with an Albino human spider creature that comes alive when she is asleep to kill random people.  There isn’t much to the story and even the brief nudity can’t hide the fact that Wisdom was probably the wrong person to lead this film.  In “Change of Face” Rachel Alig is Mystery Girl a Phantom-like stripped who hides her face while killing people in her spare time.  Alig does a better job with her role but is hampered by a predictable story with little in the way of surprises or suspense.  In the third main story “Drukija Contessa of Blood,” Alice Tate is Drukija a countess who buys young virgins from the nearby towns to sacrifice and kill so that she can extend her own life.  Inspired by the Elizabeth Bathory story this is a period set story that shows a little more risk than the other stories but nevertheless is hampered by the same issues.

 

The surprise of the entire film comes from Kayden Kross who is Morella in the wrap around segments who actually makes for an entertaining host for the entire film.  She actually gives the best performance and looks as she know exactly the type of film that she has stepped into.

 

The biggest problem with the film is that with Danzig on board, you expect a much better film instead of something that looks like in was made with $1 and done in a garage.  There is plenty of nudity and gore on display in the film but the film offers little else other than that.

 

ITSY BITSY (2019)

I’m a sucker for a good giant monster movie and after seeing the trailer for ITSY BITSY (2019) I was instantly intrigued but sadly what I was given is not as interesting as I would have hoped.  Kara Spencer (Elizabeth Roberts), is a down on her luck nurse whose just uprooted her two children to move to a new town for a job taking care of Walter Clark (Bruce Davison), who is an eccentric collector of exotic items which includes a relic that houses a spider goddess.  When the relic is broken, the spider goddess is released and sets out to kill.

The visual and practical FX for the spider is great!  The problem is that the spider doesn’t really do much in the film as the film itself is more concerned with telling a good myth regarding the spider goddess and more concerned with family dysfunction of the main characters and their secrets.  This is all great background for characters but what you want in a giant monster movie is the scares, the fun, and the absurdity that comes with this genre of film.  Instead, the film is very much a drama until the action is kicked into high gear in the third act which for some may too late.

If you do stick with the film the third act is at least entertaining with the film never getting too boring it just won’t be what you are expecting.  Davison does an excellent job as the character responsible for all the background info about the spider goddess and the rest of the cast is equally good but the film-makers themselves may have just been trying too hard to make a film with actual real life characters with problems and conflicts.  These conflicts just don’t fit in a giant spider film.

Film Review: ICE SPIDERS (2007)

Director Tibor Takacs’ Ice Spiders (2007) is about as ludicrous and entertaining as most of his films having been directed the cult favorites The Gate (1987) and its sequel Gate 2 (1990) and I, Madman (1989), among many others.  The biggest fault with his films in this modern day and age is the over reliance on CGI good, bad, and otherwise.  You get a lot of the otherwise in this film.

The film concerns former ski bum Dash Dashiell (Patrick Muldoon) whose fed up with teaching rich people at the ski resort the “fine art” of skiing when they would rather just be having a good time.  When Dr. April Sommers (Vanessa Williams) military science experiment of deadly mutated spiders decides to jump ship from the secret government laboratory on the mountain everyone’s lives are nothing more than spider-food.  Unbeknownst to Sommers her spiders were injected with a growth hormone to speed up their growth and aggression and now they are bigger, stronger, and more deadly than she could have possibly imagined.  And did I also mention that the cold has no effect on them whatsoever?

Now Sommers must team up with Dashiell to protect the survivors on the mountain and find a way to outsmart and kill the giant spiders before they all become spider-food.  The whole film is pretty ludicrous but Muldoon and Williams are game and keep the film entertaining even through all the bad CGI spiders.  Even legendary producer Stephen J. Cannell (The Rockford Files, 21 Jump Street, The A-Team, and Stingray, to name a few) shows up in a major supporting role as the owner of the ski resort. 

Overall the film is pretty bad and a far cry from Takacs’ previous ‘80s films but he still knows how to entertain regardless.

Film Review: SPIDERHOLE (2013)

Squatters get more than they bargained for when they unwittingly find themselves inside the domain of a crazy killer in Spiderhole (2010).  Most of the time the killer captures his victims and then tortures them in a single location but this film takes it into a completely different set up by having four people get themselves trapped inside a killer’s spider-web in which the killer goes after them one at a time. 

There’s not much new or original about the concept but it does move at a brisk pace and is anything but uninteresting.  Once the four squatters realize their predicament the film gets interesting as the characters actually act and react like almost real characters might as they fight back and try to escape.  There’s an interesting twist with the killer that I didn’t see coming but in the grand scheme of things this is not a film that you will remember because it lacks that extra little something that would put it above the rest of the cannon fodder out there.

The film is written & directed by Daniel Simpson with cinematography by Vinit Borrison and together they do create a foreboding atmosphere to the film which works in the film’s favor and helps create a creeping mood.  This mood is extended in the music by Jason Cooper and Oliver Kraus so there are a few things that will keep the audience interested and on the edge of their seats.