Zombies are the middle children of the otherworldly family. Vampires are the oldest brother who gets to have a room in the attic, all tripped out with a disco ball and shag carpet. Werewolves are the youngest, the babies, always getting pinched and told they're cute. With all that attention stolen away from the middle child zombie, no wonder she shuffles off grumbling, "Marsha, Marsha, Marsha."

- Kevin James Breaux

Tuesday, October 18, 2016

Film Review: SAURIANS (1994)

Nothing is worse than watching a ‘90s film that looks like it was shot on VHS by a novice filmmaker but that’s exactly what you get with Saurians (1994).  This home-made movie of two prehistoric creatures being resurrected after a construction demolition gone wrong is beyond awful to behold.  Written and directed by Mark Alan Polonia this film follows a group of “novice” archeologists searching for the remnants of dinosaurs just in time to see real life ones come to life and terrify the neighboring town and people. 

What makes the film so awful is not just the pedestrian direction and abysmal screenplay but the bad acting and horrendous creature FX.  The audio is also horrendous as the levels never seem to even have been mixed properly (even though much of the film has been noticeably dubbed and/or ADR). It was a chore to get through this entire film because in addition to all these negative aspects of the film it wasn’t even entertaining in a bad-movie way.  It was just plan horrible and a film that should be avoided at all costs.

No comments:

Post a Comment