Zombies are the middle children of the otherworldly family. Vampires are the oldest brother who gets to have a room in the attic, all tripped out with a disco ball and shag carpet. Werewolves are the youngest, the babies, always getting pinched and told they're cute. With all that attention stolen away from the middle child zombie, no wonder she shuffles off grumbling, "Marsha, Marsha, Marsha."

- Kevin James Breaux

Saturday, August 29, 2015

Film Review: BEAST BENEATH (2011)

The film Beast Beneath (2011) is one of those cheap horror films that has a very simple premise that sells itself on the monster which is (thankfully) kept in the shadows most of the time so as not to show just how cheap the whole thing is.  This is a film that is part legend, part treasure hunt, and part campfire tale as if mixes a lot of different perspectives to tell an otherwise basic monster story. 

A father and son are camping out in Griffin Park which used to be an old ranch owned by an Antonio Feliz who put a curse upon the land for anyone trying to steal his inheritance.  It seems that there is legend of a monster that has been killing people in the park for a very long time, or that is how the story is told.   In the modern day there is a tale in which Antonio’s descendant will come to him to claim her inheritance (the treasure) and allow him to finally move on (ascend to Heaven).  There are a lot of characters all trying to get to Antonio’s treasure but all meeting the unlucky fate of the monster that protects the treasure (which is like a big werewolf-like creature).

This is unfortunately the plot of the whole film which is filled with uninteresting characters that fall flat underneath the inexperienced cast and uninspired direction and cinematography.  The film’s production values are low and the lack of any real suspense means that audiences need to at least get their fill from the gore and monster FX which are poor and lack any immediacy or suspense.  This is a very bland film from start to finish in which the first order of business should have been cutting the wrap-around sequence of the father and son campfire tale set up which really adds nothing to the overall film.  This is a film that can be completely avoided.

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