Zombies are the middle children of the otherworldly family. Vampires are the oldest brother who gets to have a room in the attic, all tripped out with a disco ball and shag carpet. Werewolves are the youngest, the babies, always getting pinched and told they're cute. With all that attention stolen away from the middle child zombie, no wonder she shuffles off grumbling, "Marsha, Marsha, Marsha."

- Kevin James Breaux

Sunday, January 20, 2013

Film Review: BENEATH LOCH NESS (2002)

Every once in a while there comes a film about the legend of the Loch Ness monster that’s actually good (i.e. INCIDENT AT LOCH NESS – 2004) but BENEATH LOCH NESS (2002) is not one of those films.  A team of American researchers at work on The Loch experience an earthquake that leaves one of their team members dead.  In the aftermath of the earthquake the researchers realize that a fissure has opened up.  Upon deeper investigation the American researchers soon discover that something big may have been released when the fissure opened up.

When Case (Brian Wimmer) is brought in to head up the team of researchers after the death of their team member he soon discovers that the monster now loose in The Loch may be too much for the local police to handle.  Case also has to contend with his ex-wife Elizabeth (Lysette Anthony) and enlist the help of the only local who believes in the existence of the month Blay (Patrick Bergin) and figure out a way to get the monster before the monster makes a meal of all the locals.

It’s not that the film is bad but it’s not any good either.  It borrows heavily from JAWS (1975) but the lack of any good visual SFX renders any fear or suspense from the monster null and void.  There is humor to be had in the film (and not at the expense of the characters themselves) which is good and the cast does a passable job with the material despite the unoriginality so at least the film is entertaining.  Credit this to director Chuck Comisky who keeps the film rolling with a screenplay by Shane Bitterling and Justin Stanley.

This is not a bad time waster as there are plenty of worse films out there but if you want to see a film about The Loch I’d suggest INCIDENT AT LOCH NESS.

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