Zombies are the middle children of the otherworldly family. Vampires are the oldest brother who gets to have a room in the attic, all tripped out with a disco ball and shag carpet. Werewolves are the youngest, the babies, always getting pinched and told they're cute. With all that attention stolen away from the middle child zombie, no wonder she shuffles off grumbling, "Marsha, Marsha, Marsha."

- Kevin James Breaux

Sunday, January 20, 2013

Film Review: ALLIGATOR X (2010)

Mad scientist who create mutated killer animals is nothing new which is exactly what’s wrong with the film ALLIGATOR X (also known as XTINCTION: PREDATOR X).  Locals in the swamp lands are mysteriously disappearing and a local Sheriff Tim Richards (Locklyn Munro) and his old flame Laura (Elena Lyons) soon discover that there is a new predator on the loose that has made their homes its stomping grounds.  After a short investigation it is revealed that Laura’s ex-husband may have something to do with resurrecting a long extinct dinosaur and is trying to find a suitable place to allow it to breed and multiply.

I wish I could say there was more to the film but there really isn’t.  As written by Cameron Larson (with story credit going to Larson, George Kostuch, Caleb Michaelson, and Claire Sanchez) and directed by Amir Valinia this film is an uninspired and unoriginal mess.  You’d think that with five people behind the story of the film that you would at least get something original or at least entertaining but this film is neither.  The film is a knock-off of the hundreds of mad scientist films that came before it and the direction is pedestrian at best.  The film lacks any suspense and the story drags on even with this type of film.   Performances are abysmal even for Munro, who has proven his talents in such films as DRACULA 2000 and FREDDY VS JASON.  He’s playing the by-the-numbers sheriff (a role he’s been pigeonholed in).

I appreciate the occasional mad scientist creating killer monster film (SPLICE (2009) is an excellent example of this) but this story has been done to death and that’s “bad” death at that.  The SFX are not at all passable and what little humor there is disappears due to all the bad character stereotypes.  It’s not a very competent film and if it was at least entertaining I might forgive the many other problems.   

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