Film Review: BLOOD LAKE: ATTACK OF THE KILLER LAMPREYS (2014)

The film Blood Lake: Attack of the Killer Lampreys (2014) sounds about as exciting as the title is overly long which is to say that it is one of those sci-fi-horror films where the poster is more exciting than the film itself (which is a shame since the human monster on the cover is nowhere to be found in the film). 

Written by Anna Rasmussen and Delondra Williams, Blood Lake is the story of a small town that is besieged by an aggressive lamprey population that kills everything in sight once they’ve chowed down on the fish population.  It’s up to the local police to find a way to rid their town of the lampreys before the population threatens to grow outrageous and dangerous to surrounding communities.  The film stars Shannen Doherty, Zack Ward, and Jason Brooks and has a guest appearance by Christopher Lloyd who all look like they wish they had never signed on to be in the film.  This (yet another) Jaws knock-off is filled with stupid characters that do stupid things but is mostly destroyed by the horrible CGI throughout the film.  No one and nothing is saved from the banality of this film that is neither entertaining nor contain the required large amounts of gore and sex appeal that appeal to the audience that even bothers with these types of absurd films.

Ward, who is so good in the absurdity of Postal (2007) and Resident Evil: Apocalypse (2004) plays the every-man type which goes against what he normally does so well in these types of films and Doherty has been completely domesticated as the matriarch of the family menaced by the killer lampreys.  This is a highly forgettable film with nothing for any audience and should be avoided.

Film Review: LAKE PLACID: THE FINAL CHAPTER (2012)

Actress Yancy Butler returns to battle giant man-eating crocodiles in Lake Placid: The Final Chapter (2012).  Having survived the ordeal of her previous encounter at the infamous lake, Reba (Butler) is now settled with Sheriff Giove (Elisabeth Rohm) with the protection of her town by barricading the growing population of crocodiles from the rest of the world with an electric fence.  Reba would rather just kill them all but it seems that they are now an endangered species and protected from being hunted.  This does not stop big game hunter Jim Bickerman (Robert England) or his group of men who plan to break into the barricaded area in order to steal the valuable eggs of the crocodiles.  When Bickerman’s men accidentally leave the gate to the quarantined area open an school bus of lost and unsuspecting teenagers find their way to the beach where they are the meal of the day for a swarm of crocodiles starving for food. 

It’s great to see Butler back as Reba as she has grown into the roll with her no nonsense attitude towards her job of both protecting the endangered crocodiles and wanting to kill them all.  She has a lot of fun in the roll and every time she’s on the screen she cracks and sizzles.  Rohm is the more subdued of the two and isn’t given as much room to have any fun but she does play the typical mother whose daughter is one of the bus load of teenagers trapped behind enemy lines.  It is England who truly outshines them all as Bickerman a relative of Betty White’s Delores Bickerman from the original 1999 film (so a nice nod there).  He is given free rein to have as much fun as he can in a film that saddled with mediocre CGI crocodile VFX.

The film is written by David Reed (who also wrote Part 3) and directed by Don Michael Paul.  This is a film that knows it’s the fourth film in an ever going franchise of diminishing results (and for those of you counting there is a Lake Placid Vs. Anaconda film on the horizon for this year).  This is not meant to be a good film but I give it points for bringing in some impressive stars and letting them have fun with the mediocre material because if they’re having fun we’re all having fun (and if you make it into a drinking game it’s even more fun).