Film Review: TERROR ON TOUR (1980)

There’s nothing like a film that tries to mix horror with rock ‘n roll which is exactly what you get in TERROR ON TOUR (1980).  Written by Dell Lekus, the film follows a rock band called The Clowns that are on tour when several prostitutes start getting killed by someone looking in their iconic clown get up.  While not the most engaging of characters, the band members just want to play good music while someone keeps killing random people and fans alike.  As the killings get closer to home it becomes very clear that someone in the group or associated with the group is at the center of the murders.

The film itself is pretty bland and has aged horribly.  In addition to the bad acting and mediocre gore, none of the characters are at all interesting and neither are the deaths on display.  The film was released at the height of the slasher boom of the ‘80s and was released before ROCKTOBER BLOOD (1984), TRICK OR TREAT (1986), and BLACK ROSES (1988), to name a few, and therefore doesn’t have the gloss of those more cult films.

This is not a film that you need to seek out, not even for horror fans as it is completely forgettable.

Film Review: STAKELAND II: THE STAKELANDER (2016)

Writer/actor Nick Damici returns to the post-apocalyptic world of vampires with STAKELAND II: THE STAKELANDER (2016).  The original film was a surprisingly refreshing new look at a world in which vampires are the dominant species and the humans have almost been run to extinction.  In the new film Martin (Connor Paolo) is all grown up and is on a quest to search for Mister (Damici) the only person he thinks can help him defeat The Mother (Kristina Hughes) who is responsible for the death of his wife and child.  Martin will stop at nothing to get revenge but on his journey through what’s left of the world he will discover new enemies that may be more dangerous than the vampires.

Damici again writes this film which sees Martin take center stage while Mister is depicted as a vamp hunter nearing the end of his days.  There are a lot of new characters added for this film including new companion The Lady (Laura Abramsen) who is a mute and feral women attached to the hip of Mister and some old friends Bat and Doc Earl (A.C. Peterson and Steven Williams, respectfully) that add flavor to the film.  The film is directed by Dan Berk and Robert Olsen and even though they are nearly as adept as Jim Mickle with the original, this film still does have it’s moments.

This film’s greatest weakness is that nothing seems fresh or original any more as it all comes off as something seen better in other films.  This being said, fans of the original film (and vampire films in general) will find something interesting in this film including the fact that it’s open ended for a possible sequel.

Film Review: THE MAJORETTES (1987)

High school girls start showing up dead in THE MAJORETTES (1987) based on the novel by John A. Russo (writer for the original NIGHT OF THE LIVING DEAD).  Here, Russo also writes the screenplay with another alumni of NOTLD Bill Hinzman taking over here as director.  Like many derivative slasher films of the late “80s, The Majorettes has sex and gore and nudity, but little else.  The film lacks the ambiance of Halloween or the sheer (implied) brutality of Texas Chain Saw Massacre.  It lacks the originality of Hellraiser or the makeup FX of The Burning.

In fact, there is very little to The Majorettes other than the star talent behind the camera as the cinematography is lacking as the iconic music.  It’s interesting that this is the first of the only two films Hinzman directed (the other is FLESHEATER, which also is not that good of a film either).  Russo, on the other hand, wrote the screenplay for the film based on his novel and went on to write, produce, and direct other films based on his novels.

The Majorettes is a film for Russo and Hinzman fans and little else even if you can appreciate the the trash cinema of the ‘80s slasher boom.

Film Review: FRIEND REQUEST (2016)

Social media will never be the same in the horror film FRIEND REQUEST (2016) that sees popular college student Laura (Alycia Debnam-Carey) confront her greatest fear when she “unfriends” someone on a networking site. Laura has a good life.  She’s successful in school.  She has a great boyfriend. She has lots of friends.  She also has a stalker by the name of Marina (Liesl Ahlers) whom she unwittingly friends on a networking site thinking that the girl just needs a friend.  When Marina, who is an artist with dark and gothic overtones, starts to squeeze herself into Laura’s life Laura tries to end her friendship.  Marina doesn’t take being unfriended lightly and ends up committing suicide by filming it on her laptop and putting on social media for everyone to see.  Thinking that she may have been a reason for Marina’s suicide, Laura’s guilt and life gets weird as her friends start to die around her and videos of their deaths are posted on her social media site.

Everything get worse when there is no way for her to delete the death videos nor shut down her site.  It seems that someone or something is taking over her personae online.  She gets blamed for the death videos; the cops think she has something more to do with the cases than she is saying; and it seems as though Marina is still manipulating her from beyond the grave.  Now she must figure out what is going on before all of her friends die leaving her the only one left with a connection to Marina.

Although the production values are good, the film lacks suspense or any sense of horror.  There is nothing in this film that you haven’t seen done better in other films.  It’s actually hard to believe that the film is Rated “R” as it contains very little gore, sex, or even profanity and is way too tame for the typical horror fan.  If not for Debnam-Carey the whole film would be completely forgettable as it is good to see her in something other than the hit TV series Fear the Walking Dead.

Film Review: OPEN WATER 3: CAGE DIVE (2017)

The latest sequel in the ever-expanding franchise OPEN WATER: CAGE DIVE (2017) finds two brothers Jeff and Josh (Joel Hogan and Josh Potthoff, respectfully) and their friend Megan (Megan Peta Hill) decide that the most daring thing for them to do for an audition tape for a reality TV show is to go cage diving with real sharks.  While on the open seas with a couple dozen other daring enthusiasts, a freak wave capsizes their boat causing them to be stuck out in the open ocean in shark infested waters.  Now they must find a way to stay alive until they are rescued with not only deadly sharks still roaming around but lethal secrets that may test all of their friendships.

Written and directed by Gerald Rascionato this film retains the “found footage” style of the previous two films but little else.  Despite having some amazing cinematography from Rascionato and Andrew Bambach, the film’s filled with two-dimensional characters that are not all that interesting and it’s a travesty that the Megan character is a cliché of a woman doing and making all the bad decisions (and down right stupid in some instances) that puts them all in even more danger.

As sequels go, the “found footage” genre should disappear for a few years so that the conventions can be later re-invented as this film offers nothing new or interesting for either the genre itself or fans of these types of films.  Only those that have been sticking with the franchise need bother with this latest entry.

Film Review: LEATHERFACE (2017)

The latest prequel/remake/reboot to the Texas Chain Saw Massacre arrives with the origins of our favorite killer Leatherface (2017) which strives to tell the story on how Leatherfae became the infamous killer we now know and loathe.  Verna (Lilli Taylor) has been taking care of her boys for a long time until one day they end up killing Sheriff Hal Hartman’s (Stephen Dorff) daughter.  As punishment, he takes Verna’s youngest boy away from her and places him in a halfway house. 

Years later, Verna is still trying to get custody of her boy when a break out at the halfway house leaves several people dead and nurse Lizzy (Vanessa Grasse) prisoner to three of the children from the halfway house.  Now Lizzy must find a way to stay calm as she finds herself in the middle of a murder spree and a deranged Sheriff will stop at nothing to recapture the children at any costs.

Written by Seth M. Sherwood and directed by Alexandre Bustillo and Julian Maury this is a violent and unforgiving film in the same vein as the latter Chainsaw films.  The film pays homage to the legacy of the original film (while ignoring most of the previous film Texas Chainsaw 3-D) which is to be expected from Bustillo and Maury who crafter the film Inside (2007).

Keeping the true identity of who ultimately becomes Leatherface among the four hospital escapees is a new added level to the franchise but I’m not convinced it was needed but that is a small gripe for a film that does a good job of trying to appease fans of the franchise.  The film may not succeed on all levels but it does do a good job of keeping the legacy alive and relevant at a time when most horror “old school” horror franchises have already seen their final days.

Film Review: DAY OF THE DEAD: BLOODLINE (2017)

There is no sequel/reboot/remake more unwanted or unneeded than yet another version of director George A. Romero’s Day of the Dead (1985) but director Hector Hernandez Vicens has done just that with Day of the Dead: Bloodline (2017).  Zoe Parker (Sophie Skelton) is a doctor whose obsessive patient Max (Johnathon Schaech) tries to rape her just as the dead begin to rise.  She happens to escape but not before seeing Max killed.

Jump a little into the future and Zoe is now one of a small group of survivors holed up on a military compound where she’s trying to find a cure for the deadly zombie virus.   When one of the children at the complex gets deathly ill and it threatens the rest of the camp Zoe and a bunch of the soldiers venture into the ruins of the city for medicine.  Zoe and the soldiers get a big surprise when she discovers that Max is still alive…in a way.  Max is part human and part zombie and he may hold the key to the cure to the zombie virus if she and the soldiers can stay alive long enough as a vengeful Max will do whatever he can to possess Zoe even if it means turning all the survivors at the camp into his undead army.

The film pays homage to the Romero classic in terms of specific plot points but with the larger cast most of them become nothing more than cannon fodder in a film that’s filled with bad acting and an even worse script that is predictable with every zombie film way.  The film’s only saving grace is the better than expected production values as the film looks good and the make up effects are top notch.  There is no denying that Vicens set out to craft a good-looking film.

Schaech is in fine form as seems to be having a lot of fun as this film’s version of the “Bub” character from the original, only more sexually active.  The action sequences are also very well done but because the film relies on characters always making the dub decisions all the built up good will is gone to waste as I’m sure you’ll feel once you watch it.