Film Review: SATAN CLAUS (1996)

Satan Claus (1996) is one of those DV films to avoid at all costs due to the complete lack of anything in the film resembling competent film-making.  I hate to say this about any film but every problem that a film-maker can make when making a low (or “no”) budget film is present in this film.

A killer Santa is on the loose and is cutting up bodies and taking parts for souvenirs while taunting the local police department.  Steve (Robert Hector) is wearing a Santa Claus suit and trying to raise money for a local charity when he gets entangled in the murders when his friend almost becomes a victim.  Time is running out and the body count rises the longer it takes the police to figure out the identity of the killer.

The film lacks any production values at all.  The lighting is too dark (with much of the first ten minutes too dark too even see what’s going on).  The police don’t seem to have any lights in their offices as every scene is lit blue as if from outdoors but you can tell the lights are inside the room.  The sound is atrocious and the film-makers must know nothing about ADR.  There isn’t a competent performance in the entire film.  This is a hard film to get through as the plot is so simple and predictable that it’s like any other generic slasher film.  Written by Simonetta Mostarda and directed by Massimilliano Cerchi this is an incompetent film that doesn’t entertain in any way.  There are no redeeming qualities in this film and even less to entertain horror fans.

Film Review: THE LODGER (2009)

Just as a couple rents their extra room out to a stranger, people start showing up dead in the same style as those of the infamous Jack the Ripper in the suspense thriller The Lodger (2009).  Hope Davis and Donal Logue are the Buntings who rent their room out to Malcolm (Simon Baker) in the hopes of being able to catch up with their bills as Ellen (Davis) has just spent a good amount of time in a hospital.  As her husband struggles to keep them afloat Ellen gets closer to their new tenant Malcolm, who has many secrets of his own. 

Alfred Molina stars as Det. Manning who is saddled with a new partner (Shane West) and together they must solve the murders of several women whose deaths mirror those of Jack the Ripper’s victims but as the killer gets closer to finishing his goal Ellen begins to realize that Malcolm may have something to do with the murders and she must discover the truth before it is too late.

Based on the book by Marie Belloc Lowndes, the screenplay is written by David Ondaatje (who also directs).  The film does a fine job of trying to draw parallels between Det. Manning’s obsessions and mistakes in the life of the killer’s making for an interesting character based film.  What the film lacks is any sense of suspense or impending doom as we don’t get to know the victims very well before they are killed and the film spends a lot of time on Manning’s story whose wife is in a hospital and he is estranged from his daughter.

The Lodger is not a film that strives to be more than it is which is a standard mystery thriller but if you love those types of films then this one is just right for you.

Film Review: PSYCHO SANTA (2003)

The DV feature Psycho Santa (2003) is one of many brain-dead Santa slasher films trying to copy the infamous Silent Night, Deadly Night (1984) but fails at every turn due to the low (or “no”) budget and sub-par production values. 

A couple is on their way to a friend’s Christmas party when one of them decides to tell the other several stories about a crazed psycho who has killed people repeatedly in the neighborhood.  Unfortunately, the stories that are told are conventional of every other slasher film making them uninteresting.  This style is an attempt to mask the fact that this is a simple anthology film with the same killer Santa killing different people each episode.  This could have worked if not for the weak stories and even weaker performances by generally the entire cast.  There isn’t a solid performance in the bunch.

This is a slog of a film to get through (if you even do) and it is a reminder of the early ‘00s when anyone and everyone decided that they were going to be a film-maker simply because they could acquire the means to do so cheaply.  The film is written and directed by Peter Keir (who has only directed one other film) and it is his debut feature and it shows as he makes all the mistakes of a novice director – weak script, bad direction of actors, uninspired cinematography, and the list goes on.  If there is one thing to recommend the film for is that it has plenty of female nudity (if that’s all you need in your “z”-grade horror film).

You’d be “psycho” to watch Psycho Santa.