******

Quote:

Zombies are the middle children of the otherworldly family. Vampires are the oldest brother who gets to have a room in the attic, all tripped out with a disco ball and shag carpet. Werewolves are the youngest, the babies, always getting pinched and told they're cute. With all that attention stolen away from the middle child zombie, no wonder she shuffles off grumbling, "Marsha, Marsha, Marsha."

- Kevin James Breaux

Wednesday, July 16, 2014

Film Review: COMING SOON (1982)



Jamie Lee Curtis is the Host of the John Landis directed film Coming Soon (1982) which a Universal Studios produced “clips” film about the greatest in Universal horror and sci-fi monsters.  Curtis takes you on a journey through the classic black & white Universal monster classics characters such as Dracula, he Wolfman, the Mummy, Frankenstein’s monster and the Creature From the Black Lagoon that inspired and frightened a nation.  She also delves deep into the popularity of certain genres as the tide for horror films changed from one decade to the next. 

There an extended sequence with director Steven Spielberg while on the set of E.T.: The Extra-Terrestrial (1982) and mention of the popularity of his film Jaws (1975). There is also a lengthy bit that focuses on Alfred Hitchcock’s classics Psycho (1960) and The Birds (1963).  This film, which is only 55 minutes in length, is for people who love classic Universal monsters and it reminds us of how the studio build its reputation.

The star power of Curtis (who has been a permanent fixture of the horror genre) and written by Landis and Mick Garris (a huge supporter of all things horror having worked on numerous Stephen King film adaptations as well as the creator of the TV series Masters of Horror) this is a film made by fans for the fans.

Film Review: HEAD OF THE FAMILY (1996)



The clan of Full Moon Entertainment’s Head of the Family (1996) is very much the same as Tobe Hooper’s Sawyer Clan of The Texas Chain Saw Massacre…only more “PC”.  Myron is the literally the “head” of his family as he is one of a quintuplet that each share the same brain but have different bodies.  Myron (the brains), Otis (the brawn and muscle), Wheeler (the eyes, ears, and smell), and Ernestina (beauty with the body) like to abduct strangers for their own personal experimentation and fun.  When local sleaze Lance (Blake Adams) secretly watches the family in action he decides to capitalize on the family’s misfortune by blackmailing them to make the husband of his mistress Lorretta  (Jacqueline Lovell) disappear. 

Myron doesn’t like being blackmailed and used and will do everything in his power to bring Blake down.  Like the Sawyer clan Myron’s clan each have their own strengths and weaknesses that are used to great effect in the film.  Myron plays a mental chess game with Blake to see who can out smart whom; he uses Ernestina to seduce men at their weakest moments; Wheeler is used to spy on Blake and get information with his super skins and Otis is the muscle that forces himself upon others (he is the Leatherface of the group).  They live in complete obscurity from the rest of the town but instead of cannibals they experiment on the people they abduct.

The film is actually better than expected as the film is anchored by the performances of Adams and Lovell  who have great chemistry with one another for a couple having an affair and Adams and J.W. Perra (as Myron) have equally great chemistry in their scenes.  The makeup effect are great and the film is better than most of the average Full Moon films.  The film also has a whit to it missing from these types of films that are aware of themselves giving it a charm that makes it worth seeking out if you haven’t already seen it.

Film Review: THE GREENSKEEPER (2002)



Written by Kevin Greene and Alex Weir and directed by Greene, Adam Johnson and Tripp Norton the film The Greenskeeper (2002) is a film filled with the indie horror spirit.  A down on his luck screenwriter who moonlights as an assistant greenskeeper of a golf club Allen (Allelon Ruggiero) has a beautiful girlfriend who can’t stand him and former classmates (who are also members of the golf club) who degrade him for having fallen so far when his father owned the golf club.  He only works at the golf club because it’s the only job his stepfather who runs the club would give him.  
 
Feeling peer pressure from his girlfriend he allows her and her friends access to the golf club at night to party and have fun when no one is around.  Unbeknownst to any of them the myth of the Greenskeeper, a burned formed worker of the golf club that kills anyone who ventures there at night, is real and that they are all being hunted one by one.

Despite being hampered by a meager budget and uninspired cinematography and barely adequate acting the film does score points with the gore factor and the fact that there is nudity is high.  The kills are imaginative and they don’t shy away from the blood.  The film also scores points for a very self aware script and many jokes that are aware of the type of film that it is.  This being said, the film does drag in some places due to the fact that the plot is predictable and offers nothing new as a slasher film but that’s generally the point.  This is your basic ‘80s slasher film which is thin on plot but big on sex, nudity and kills and if that’s what you want in a film then that’s what you’ll get.

Film Review: GRIM (1995)


A group of people decide to have a séance and unwillingly release an ancient creature that dwells beneath the caverns of their house.  This is the set up for the film Grim (1995) in which one of these members of the séance is partially possessed and a second one is linked to the creature.  These two join a group of spelunkers who are investigating the caverns in the area because they are drawn to the creature and its home.  As the spelunkers venture deeper into the caverns they realize that one by one they are being picked off one by one and that this creature that inhabits the caverns can move through walls and get them where ever and whenever it wants.


For monster lovers the creature of Grim may be its biggest draw but time has not been kind to this film as the immobility of the monsters facial expressions have rendered the creature laughable in the many close ups given to the monster (films of the ‘90s loved to show off their monster where it was warranted or not).  The film is not without its merits though as the cinematography is rather good for this type of film but this can also be attributed to the production design given to the caverns which is a character in itself.

This is not a great film (mainly because the ‘90s where littered with monster films with varying degrees of success) but it’s one of those films that fans of cheesy monster films will enjoy.

Film Review: DEADLY INSTINCTS (aka BREEDERS) (1997)



There’s nothing like an alien visitation when all the aliens want to do is procreate which is exactly what you get in Deadly Instincts (aka Breeders) (1997), which is a monster movie of the late ‘90s which is more fun to watch than it is smart.  Written and directed by Paul Matthews this film plays to the lowest common denominator but at least there are enough females barely clothed, monster killing people and action to keep you entertained from beginning to end. 

Todd Jensen is college professor Ashley who when not instructing the students in higher learning is sleeping with a student and has a strange crush on a woman whose been hanging around the campus since a meteor crashed.  With a little snooping around (and a couple murders…disappearances later) he discovers that the woman he keeps seeing is actual and alien who has been impregnated by another alien monster and that this alien monster wants to spread its seed to the other women of the campus of which his girlfriend is just one.  Now, Ashley has to figure out how to defeat the creature and save the women from becoming incubators for more alien creatures.

There is nothing new in this late ‘90s film that you haven’t seen before but the film is quite entertaining and fun in its simplicity and the performances may not be spectacular but they do carry the film without becoming too campy (which is the fun of this type of film anyways).  The monster is also quite interesting with makeup FX that is quite good for this type of film.  This film may not win any awards but it’s also not a complete waste of time either.

Film Review: THE DEAD OF NIGHT (2004)



In the horror film The Dead of Night (2004) a mental patient escapes from a hospital and kills everyone thinking they are possessed by some type of demon that likes to reveal itself during the night.  He escapes into a nearby cemetery where a group of teenagers are cruelly initiating several “geeks” by bounding their hands and throwing them into an open grave.  Soon, the teenagers discover that the cemetery may be the latest site for the demons that possess each of the teenagers one by one. 

The teenagers don’t know who to trust as during the day their friends are normal but at night they turn into hideous demons that want to possess them and their only hope is in the escaped mental patient who knows more then he’s letting on about what is happening.  Time is running out as one by one each person is possessed and the demons don’t plan on stopping just with the teenagers but have bigger plans.

This sounds like a film that might actually be decent but sadly it is not.  Hampered by meager production values and a repetitive screenplay that renders all the characters as two-dimensional caricatures this film is made even more inept by the horrible demon masks and special FX.  If made in the ‘80s or ‘90s I could probably forgive some of this but this is a film of ‘00s and this film is just bad.  This is a highly forgettable film.